“Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight.

I have yet to step into a Greek, Indian, or Thai restaurant since I moved back here, and I feel the yearning for some flavor and heat.  I’ll be reporting the fruits of our adventures here, for both my own memory-keeping, and to perhaps prod other local friends into expanding their culinary appreciation.  I’m very excited!

We’ve ‘decided’ that it’s likely going to be every couple of weeks, budget willing, and this past weekend we went to The Olive Garden — an Italian franchise that I haven’t tried out in approximately 9 years or so.  The food was tasty — the service was foul.  The next time any of you go, I do recommend the asiago, alfredo, and roasted garlic sauce. I had it over penne, and it was delicious.   For the locals, we went to the O.G. at Turkey Creek, and though I wouldn’t turn my nose down at going again, it wasn’t something I’d want to run back to at high speed.

I’m really looking forward to testing out the Indian restaurant (that I know of off the top of my head) in Knoxville, called Sitar.  Their website is a little cracked-out, but the menu looks promising.  Especially because Mikey has a delicate palate that’s not very appreciative of the ultra-spicy, so there seem to be a few items that wouldn’t kill him..heh.

The job is still extremely frustrating — no cost of living raises until June/July of 2009, however TVA has announced that they’re raising the cost of fuel 20% in Knoxville, and in January, our benefits will not be nearly as beneficial to our wallets, as JTV will be cutting back on how much they subsidize our health care.  Which means it’s really past-due, my looking and getting a better paying job, or a second job.  Ah well.  Such is life.  What kills me is that 20 years ago, my mother was able to pay her bills with one job, and I — at her age — can’t seem to keep up?  It’s discouraging, and I feel like a failure most of the time.  It spurs me to look harder for work, but each rejection starts to weigh more heavily.  Blah.  I know it will work out in the end, it just becomes more difficult to see that light at the end of the tunnel and not mistake it for an oncoming train. ;o)

The voice mail said that it came from my bank (it actually named the correct bank) and said that my card had been suspended.  And to reactivate it, I would need to call a 604 area code number.  Now, I’m fairly paranoid about my banking stuff, and I check my balance like any other normal, OCD-inflicted person, so as far as I could tell, there was no good reason for my card to have been suspended.

Contacted my bank’s Member Services, and lo and behold, it’s a new scam.  They already had their security team on it, so.. wow.

Just a heads up to anyone out there reading this who gets weird voice mails/calls from some recording pretending to be from your bank.

It starts off with me dating this guy… he’s an older guy, I think in this dream, he actually says (in a moment of drunken stupor/laughter) that he’s 56.  The last time I dreamt of him, I think that at the same moment, he just was bemoaning the fact that he was getting old.  Anyway, I’m digressing.

So I’m dating this guy, and everything seems to be alright. It’s not magic, bells-ringing, birds singing love, but I get the feeling that I like being with him.  Then he asks me to do something — I can’t recall what he’s asked me, and leaves.  I fail to do this thing, and when he comes back, he’s very angry.  Very angry. I see the slap coming.. it’s telegraphed as though we’re in a movie, and the room has been switched to slo-mo.  He slaps me around for a bit, and then leaves me in a living room-looking place, on the couch, nursing my wounds.  Then a beautiful woman comes into the room and sits next to me, holding my hand and empathizing with me.  She tries to make me feel better, and it’s obvious to me who sent her, but I let her.  I’m cradled in her arms when he returns, and this displeases him even more.  He takes his anger out on both of us, and we get into a car.

This is where he gets very drunk, and the beautiful lady and I take him somewhere to sleep it off.  There is another guy there, helping us, and once the drunk bastard is settled in, the three of us, pretty lady, helper, and I, go to the movies.  When we get back of course, he’s awake, and the beating is horrible enough to wake me up.  That’s the first version of the dream.. I don’t remember when I had it first, but it’s been within this year.  It doesn’t freak me out when I’m awake, but it really affects my sleeping mind pretty harshly.. effects it enough to wake me up rather than continue the dream.

So anyway, this morning, I start having this dream again.  And I recognize the place, and the older man almost right away — but it doesn’t become a lucid dream. I just know what’s going to happen, and I make no effort to wake up or change it.  Not at first.

The time comes when he asks me to do something — again, I can’t remember what it was that he asked me to do, and I don’t do it.  When he comes back, he asks me to step into the hallway to speak with me.  The slap is coming, and I know it.  When he pulls his arm back and then it starts coming toward my face, I reach forward and grab his arm and say, “I got the shit beat out of me for almost 10 years by my step father.  Do you think you fucking scare me?” And throw his arm down.  This is new–this is a change in the dream, and all of a sudden, I’m a lot more interested in stuff.  I go back into the living room, and the beautiful girl comes in on cue.  But this time she sits next to me on the couch, clearly wanting to offer me sympathy, but I don’t take it.  I pat her on the shoulder and sit beside her patiently.

The older guy gets drunk again, and again we have to have help getting him to his home.  He rolls on his bed, bemoaning the fact that he’s 56 years old, and I leave him there to go talk to the pretty lady and the guy who helped us — they’re both in the kitchen.  They suggest we go to a movie, or anywhere, and I tell them I’m not interested. I’m just going to go home, and I never expect to see any of them again.  Then I wake up.

Now, my mother just learned this past week that my step-father has finally died.  We’ve been waiting for this man to die for 20 years.  He was a horrible, evil man with some good qualities, none of them redeeming.  He made my life, and my mother’s life hell for 10 years or so, and we’re both glad that we can finally get some real, end-of-the-line closure.  This could be my brains way of rehashing a particularly bad dream I had, but giving it a new “phew, I’m over being a victim” twist.  I don’t know.  Mainly, it was interesting to me because of the obvious changes and decisions I’d made in part two.

 So, as of today:  I am no longer in default with my student loans.  Hello, my name is Rachel, and I just may very well have good credit before the year is out.

And then I will be looking for a house, I think.  And/or a better car deal.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my car — but the payments are killer.  If I could halve them, oh– blessed savings.

In other news .. well, there really isn’t any. Still no internet, and the withdrawels com and go. ;o)

 Take care, all!

So, as the title suggests, I’ve read quite a few books since my last reviews, and I’ll have to dig around and find out which ones now — and I’ll start keeping an offline notebook to keep track of such things in the future, just in case.

As some of you may know, there has been a lot of wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth down here in Knoxville, where JTV is concerned.  There were layoffs, the call center is supposedly safe, but a lot of people are still jumping ship just to be safe.  For myself, I’ve been going on a lot more interviews lately, most recently to Scripps Howard Networks.  Really really hoping for a callback on that front, but it’s hard for me to unbiasedly read how well I did or didn’t do at an interview because they make me so damned nervous, I usually think I tanked.  Thanks to all who crossed fingers and toes for my interview last week.. keep ‘em crossed, if you would!

The internet is pretty locked down at work too, so it’s mostly Fox News and CNN and the Knoxville News Sentinel that I read from day to day, but there is a blog I’ve got access to that I really have fallen for, called The Barefoot Kitchen Witch, written by Jayne who has the wonderful good fortune to live in Rhode Island (my second tour of that awesome state ended in 1999, sadly).  Her posts on cooking and baking are heavily interspersed with photographs that she’s taken during most if not all steps of the meal’s progress, and she’s also very amusing. Try to contain your jealousy of her family though — I know it’s hard, because they have one of the most amazing women I’ve ever encountered for a mom/wife.

Michelle is coming up for a visit this coming week, and I’m super excited.  I won’t be getting the days off I need though, and though that’s frustrating, it’s just one of those parts of life one deals with.  The time I have with her will be worth the hassle of a job I haven’t yet escaped from.

Will attempt to update again soon, we’ll see how that goes!

Probably.

 Things are happening.  I react to them.

Going to Florida in April, for almost a week, with some work folks.  Planning on throwing myself more assiduously into the job hunt once I get back.  No need to ruin my one and only vacation in the past few years, hmm?

Been having some odd folks reenter my life, odd but good.  Welcome back, peeps. Eventually, I’ll send through an update with some meat in it, or maybe just another book review (I’ve been reading like the devil), to keep myself out there.

Much love to all.

Now if I was really clever, I’d actually post a worthwhile update here, so.. I think I will.

Have finally been making trips to the doctor. The whole, “if I don’t know, it can’t hurt me” mentality was not only crap, it was dumb. I’m getting older, and I’d like to continue to do so for at least the next fifty or so years. That said, a few things are on the horizon:

I’ve got to have a uterine biopsy next month because the gyno is worried about the womanly goings-on and that it might point toward a pre-cancerous condition. Other factors lumped in with that will mean I’ll also be asking her to run a couple of tests to check for the possibility of polycystic ovarian syndrome/disease. I’m not hugely stressing anything yet, but a kind thought was never wasted on me.

Still at JTV, but looking elsewhere. There seems to be less and less possibility of advancement there, and the longer I work there, the more brain function I seem to be losing. Picked up a copy of a biography of Simone de Beauvoir just because I assumed it would provide an interesting challenge to read. I wasn’t wrong — so far it’s very good, though.

Speaking of books, I’ve also picked up a copy of Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon to re-read, and I’ve pre-ordered Kim Harrison’s The Outlaw Demon Wails, which can’t come soon enough, let me tell you. Also reading David Edding’s The Elder Gods, and re-reading The Sparrow, by Maria Dora Russell. So.. uhh, yeah. Welcome to the stack of books beside my bed.

Had a bit of an unhappy surprise to find that someone had stolen my WoW account, paid-transfered my level 68 (now 70) character to another server, took all of her gold and eq and then deleted her. Was a busy weekend. Thankfully, Blizzard took care of all of that, replaced most of my belongings and all of my eq, plus gave me what I’m guessing is a “sorry that whole thing blew chunks, didn’t it?” gift of a few thousand gold and some really rocking potions. All is well again, and my password is like Fort Knox now. Un-gettable.

Have invited a couple of friends over this week for dinner, and really looking forward to it. Lasagna galore with Bailey’s cheesecake to follow — yum!

I think I’ll end it there, with a promise to post recipes later.